Work in Progress (based on conversations a few posts ago)

There's a devil in my mind.
He's working again,
to remind me of a time
when we're only friends,
when you would come along
and change all my plans.
A whiskey for your time
and a fighting chance.

Is hell just a place in our minds?
I'm praying everyday to seem right in your eyes.

There's a spirit in your room,
God's blood in your bed.
The sacred little place where our bodies met.
When life is just a flash,
a spark in the night,
you feed my every thought when you come alive.

Volcano

Anyone else ever feel like God is just a failing freshman biology student and that we are a science fair project?

If you don't ...

In Love with the Devil (in my Mind)

The utter malaise of my life the past two years is on the move. My mind and my emotional mind (I'm having trouble deciphering the difference) are no longer static. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that things are better. They are just moving. I prefer it to the alternative.

Senior year of college is just a week away.

For too long this wretched form of expression, prose, poetry, history, has been pushing me in one direction.

I'm tired of being a player and not a musician, or a writer who doesn't write himself into his material, or a lover who doesn't love all the time. I wish I was real.

In the whole schmear of Graham Greene characters that I've felt connected with, Maurice Bendrix from The End of the Affair is the one I probably have the most in common with in reality, which isn't exactly healthy.

"I've got that devil in my mind at work again," Bendrix explains early on. In the grand scheme of the novel the reader can very easily see how his jealousy has clouded his judgement as a human thinker. I can completely relate to these emotions (always gloom, often jealousy, sometimes wrath, and never peace) and how they consume you to the point of tears, and how you would tear apart the wonderful parts of your life just to put to rest this awful longing to cause trouble.

But, here's the strange thing. I don't want to rid my mind of this spiritually turbulent dragon making everything worse for me. It's comfortable. This devil is my best friend. He's ruined every relationship I've ever had and every important part of my life ... but I can't help but worship him.

Maybe, the first step in getting better is admitting you have a problem. But, maybe I don't want to be rid of the problem.

The only thing I know for sure is that this art, or life, whichever you prefer, fulfills my every longing and keeps me singing as I go. This language I use, musically, lyrically, conceptually, physically, and most-of-all-sexually, is how I keep Him from beating me.

I want to appropriate and steal and borrow and love other writers. I want to flesh out what others have already fleshed out, unknowingly. I want to hate you for writing what I didn't and I want to love you for staying out of my way and enjoying what I write.

I'm gonna restart this whole blog thing. I think it's really the only thing that keeps me focused in the life department. Feel free to discourage or encourage along the way. They both will keep me going.

Art is life is god.

NoiseTrade Widget

12. Paul Simon

There are many differences in types of musicians. I'm not speaking of only genres and personalities, but a more basic precept of what a musician is. At a basic level there is the difference of performer vs. songwriter. It is something I've always been conscious of because of my attempt to do both. Interestingly enough, I've always found myself feeling like a songwriter even performing in a band in a live format. There is a shyness about expressing this song, that I put a lot of heart and work into, in a format so easily criticized by the common listener and often driven by low-brow musical and lyrical statements and perverted sexuality. (rather than an emotional/spiritual sexuality) I don't mean to imply that I'm not guilty of, at least, the former, but I do my best to exclude these descriptions. Pop music seems to be the only medium I feel competent in.

It is times like these that I remember it is okay to feel that way. Paul Simon has been doing it for years.

There are a few people out there that transcend the job of creating music and are such SONG WRITERS (with an intended space between the words) that the term seems trite to use for anyone else. Paul Simon is one of them. He crafts songs like the pyramids, meticulously put together, full of wonder, and timeless. You know when you listen to a song and feel it in your gut that the way the song speaks goes well beyond your generation, as if it's absolute truth? That's how I feel whenever I listen to almost any song written by Paul Simon. (Who knows? Maybe Simon is the only proof of absolute troof.)

He's had a career any wanna-be songwriter, like myself, would kill their parents for. (love you, ma!) At age 15 he had already had a Top 50 hit. Simon was a staff writer for many labels before he was twenty and had songs that were extremely successful performed by the Seekers. He then formed one of the most colossal musical duos in the history of the art form ... you might've heard of them: Simon & Garfunkel. After having five platinum albums under the moniker (four of them going platinum at least twice and one of them eight times) he went solo and created what could be considered the greatest solo effort ever with Graceland. (which won a Grammy for Album of the Year)

I've always felt that he has mastered the art of music and the art of lyrics. Which is something you don't find a whole lot. I feel like it is very easy to suffer in one or the other. I can assure you that, unless you are instilled with a lyric subconsciously, or you are fated a harmonic progression or melodic sequence, that it is very difficult to cultivate either one on your own. When listening to Paul Simon I hardly ever find a time where he struggled with either one. Even on his album Wednesday Morning, 3 AM which is the first S&G record, you can find classically developed melodic archs and lyrics that paint a picture as colorful as the dawn.

For instance, lets take, from Wednesday Morning, 3 AM, the classic "Sound of Silence" in consideration. The melody: dark, mysterious, memorable, sequenced (in a fashion Mozart would be proud of), and has a tension that is pushed with momentum all the way through the verse when it finally resolves to what? The words "silence." A calming end to a brooding melody.

Then think about the lyrics: To go along with the dark visuals brought about by the melody already, Simon introduces the listener to his ol' buddy: darkness. The symbols speak like Biblical or mythical text and are maybe just as prophetic:

"And in the naked light I saw ten thousand people, maybe more. People talking without speaking. People hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never share. No one dared to disturb the sound of silence."

I personally feel like Paul Simon was just as good during his solo career. I can't think of a single person who has done more when it comes to incorporating folk music from around the globe more than Simon. Dr. Stanek, in my World Music class, once made a bold statement claiming that Graceland put African Folk Music on the Musicology map. Which is insane. Isn't Paul Simon just a pop artist?

There are a billion other examples I could give on why he is a ridiculous person. I feel a little guilty putting him this high in the list when maybe his legendary status should afford him a Top 5 position. But, I have just begun to defile this list, friends.

20. Rufus Wainwright
Album Suggestion: Want One
19. Aqualung
Album Suggestion: Memory Man
18. Jon Foreman
Album Suggestion: Fall EP
17. Incubus
Album Suggestion: Morning View
16. Keane
Album Suggestion: Under the Iron Sea
15. The Divine Comedy
Album Suggestion: Victory for the Comic Muse
14. Copeland
Album Suggestion: Eat, Sleep, Repeat
13. Wilco
Album Suggestion: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
12. Paul Simon
Album Suggestion: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

My Charming Little Boyfriend

When all was said and done
I didn’t know if I was looking for
a ride to get me home
or a foot to hold the door.
A man has become a painted dress,
a clown is now a pro.

I’m with my charming little boyfriend.
I’m loving every minute.
I’m falling even faster than before
and I don’t know what to do anymore.

You might as well be me.
You live my life continually.
and though it might be harsh
I’m almost glad I set you free.
You follow like a child,
you have no thought thats all your own.

I’ve got my charming little boyfriend.
I’m loving every minute.
I’m falling even faster than before
and I don’t know what to do anymore.

You never liked when I would lie about my life.
And I would lie in bed every night.
I’ll start but I won’t stop it.
I’ll walk but I won’t run ...

from your charming little boyfriend.
You’re loving every minute.
You’re falling even faster than before
and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Top 10 Records of 2008

I think we can all agree that this year hurt all of us. Music was just awful. AWFUL. I can usually count on at least ONE album to come around each year and shake up my Top 20-30 albums of all time. (Not that any of that list is set in stone other than #1) But, this year I can't honestly say that a single album came out that even comes close. It was a very frustrating year.

This brings us to the arbitrary Top 10 Records of the Year list. I was able to find 10 records to put on this list. But, it definitely was a struggle. I had to include one live album (which is still a good record) when it really feels like cheating to use anything other than a studio recording. I almost even included Radiohead's In Rainbows (My 2007 record of the year) again because although it was digitally released in 2007, it was physically released on January 1, 2008. That is how hard it was to come up with good records this year. However, In Rainbows escaped repetitious damnation and I was able to fill in the gaps.

So, may I present to you My Top 10 of the year. There are definitely some high points even in such a bad year. Let me know what you think.


Top 10 Records of 2008

10. John Mayer Where the Light Is: Live in Los Angeles You don't have to be a John Mayer fan to enjoy his guitar playing. I have seen him live 4 or 5 times and I can honestly say his best playing is at his live show. He is extremely expressive and its ridiculous. This is one of the first live albums in a long time that has actually transferred the same energy that you get at the concert itself. I am tired of live albums. This one brought me back to appreciating them.

9. Paper Route Are We All Forgotten I was blown away by this short album. I really enjoyed their self-titled debut album that danced along the lines of a Postal Service Christmas album; however, this album showed an energy that I was unprepared for. The synth is harsher than on the last effort, the drums are thicker, and the voices sound excellent. They did on this album what Keane unsuccessfully tried to do with Perfect Symmetry.

8. Ben Folds Way to Normal Ben Folds has made some interesting moves since leaving the Five and creating one of the greatest first solo attempts ever in Rockin' the Suburbs. Immediately after, he created the stoic "grow a beard" record with Songs for Silverman and now it seems like he has done the impossible: a return to energetic piano punk. It kills me that people said bad things about this record and then immediately sight The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner as his best record. They are very similar pieces of work in music and lyrics. Folds also might have created his most emotional piece of music since "The Luckiest" with the final ballad "Kylie from Connecticut." It is worth a listen, believe me.

7. Punch Brothers Punch Chris Thile was involved in creating another album. Do I need more evidence for its spot on this list?? Just in case you aren't convinced, I think its safe to say that a 40-minute multi movement classical bluegrass piece deserves some attention. Check out "The Blind Leaving the Blind."

6. Jon Foreman Summer EP I have been pretty impressed with Foreman's solo efforts. But, this is the only one that comes close to Fall. "Deep in Your Eyes (There is a River)" and "Instead of a Show" are 2/5 of his best songs written ever.

5. Kathleen Edwards Asking for Flowers I think this is the highest any country album has ever made it on any of my lists. Edwards strikes again with a great follow up to her sophomore release Back to Me. She gives us even more attitude, even more sadness, and reminds us why we love her lyrical wit. Although, this record falls short of her last effort, the title track of the album is the best song she has ever written. Kudos.

4. Fleet Foxes Fleet Foxes This album is probably the only uber-indie-chic album to make my list because it transcends the God-awful crap that comes from independent music currently. The reason why Fleet Foxes is so good is because, contrary to My Morning Jacket or even the lovely Band of Horses, Fleet Foxes completely sells itself out to Appalachian folk music. The harmonically planed walls of sound, the almost exclusively pentatonic melodies, and the perfect instrumentation all ring true to classic folk elements. Very enjoyable listen.

3. John Legend Evolver My 46-year-old woman emotions might have clouded my judgement, but I can't get enough of John Legend's brand of soul. Last time we met John he created the most Motown record since the 70's with his Once Again. All that's happened since is an updated accompaniment. On Evolver we find the same classic melody maker writing in R&B styles that span from the mid-80's to nowadays. I didn't think I'd ever enjoy an updated soul album this much. "Everybody Knows" hurts, it's so good. Glad to see that Legend wants to try something new and keep it classy at the same time.

2. Coldplay Viva la Vida Coldplay is somewhat predictable. I love almost everything they've been a part of. They have very few songs that I haven't enjoyed thoroughly. But, a change was needed. Who better to create that change than legendary producer Brian Eno? Coldplay ditched the four-sensitive-guys in a pop/rock band stereotype and created an album of sonic landscapes and juxtaposed song structures, and even more vague lyrics. Thank you for refreshing us and showing us that you aren't the band we think you are at the same time. We appreciate it.

1. Copeland You Are My Sunshine I have really been obsessed with this album. I think I've listened to pieces, if not all, of this record every single day since I bought it. Marsh & Company is returning to an old philosophy in music that has been slowly escaping us since Modernism showed its ugly (and sometimes awesome) head. This philosophy is one that is guided by creating beautiful music rather than rock music. I think that its easy to say that they were successful in creating a dark and beautiful album. It isn't dark like Beethoven is dark. But, a more subtle dark found within the aesthetic quality of music. If this isn't enough for you, I can understand why this being number one would be a disappointment to you. However, I couldn't get enough of it.